The English Language - Re-written
If you can, you speak English better than 90 percent of the world's English speakers, apparently. Also, and unrelated, but this is totally something that your mom would forward to you if you lived in, like, the 1920s. Anyway. How'd you do?! After trying these verses a Frenchman said (evidently) that he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it’s written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; C...