Breaking Part of Hating You

Proudly 6 Months!

I made a mistake somewhere.

(Not trying to say 6 months was a mistake, just that I feel bad or sorry in a way.)

It appears like my conscience has gotten the worst part of me this time. And honestly, I don't know what to do or say. They're telling me I don't need her, telling me I could do better. It's like they're trying to tell me to get rid of her. It's a whole bunch of lies in which I see myself giving up and letting go. But what the fuck am I saying? That's not like me at all. She is the love of my life and is truly always the only one there for me. And at this moment I don't know how to co-operate with it. And i don't know where to turn from here.

Do I return and walk down the same path to prolong my enduring battle with the lies and betrayal or find another road leading me out of distress and eventually meeting ms. right?

I'd like to take the lies and betrayal any day. But why am I like that?

My hopes are down, my mind is crushed and I can't find any optimism anymore. Did my endless fantasy just get slammed into a brick wall and fell apart? Tragically, my senses are hoping for a relief somewhere and sometime. Am I that miserable to see the fact that you don't need me anymore? Is that the truth. God I hope it isn't. Answers will only clear explain this difficulty.

Truth is, I love you and I never want to see us part. I mean it. In fact, I can't see a day I won't be without you. You are mine and I am yours, and that's not going to change at all. I can promise you that.

Today, I'm just going through my issues and sorriness and hoping you are willing to forgive me.

Please.

"I seem so empty
My endless longing goes on
I'm living like I'm lost...these days"

Until next time.


-Drew

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