"You'll Never Know" By Chances Are
This post doesn't go something like this...It goes exactly like this.
A poet named Shi lived in a stone house and liked to eat lion flesh, and he vowed to eat ten of them. He used to go to the market in search of lions, and one day at ten o'clock, he chanced to see ten of them there. Shi killed the lions with arrows and picked up their bodies, carrying them back to his stone house. His house was dripping with water, so he requested that his servants proceed to dry it. Then he began to try to eat the bodies of the ten lions. It was only then he realized that these were in fact ten lions made of stone.
This may become a surprising story for some. Each syllable in that previous passage is pronounced 'shi' in Chinese. Look it up.
(Time for you to look up last passage)
Good, now onto my blogging.
Here <- (not directly here, but below) is my first personal story of this month.
Have you ever had that feeling where you see a girl you might know on the bus, but you don't particularly know whether or not it's her; but she keeps looking back at you constantly as if she is trying to figure you out too? It's kind of like saying you met in a past life, or something. Maybe you haven't seen this person for who knows how long. and randomly, you finally meet eye to eye with each other, and now you both are wondering if this person staring back is someone you knew.
I had that moment. I felt that for some unknown reason I should remember this girl (funny, it happened on remembrance day: could've been an illusion...who knows?), but only Lord knows if we've ever met, though. I may remember who she is...but I'm only guessing. But she kept looking at me, or at least in my direction for periods of time, and I swear at one point, we were locked in eye contact and she was just about to utter something. But then she covered her mouth, turned away and put her earphone back into her ear. Was it me or the sunset behind me? Am I delusional or was she a girl from the past? I may have been sitting next to my ex-cousin who MAY still live here in North Bay. By what I saw, she did look familiar, as if I knew her from a while back...but because nothing was said, I guess we'll never know.
Yesterday, my friend came up to me and told me about a dream he had the night before. He asked me what I thought it meant and I told him "it means you were sleeping."
So, guess what's up? (by up I mean above my upper lip) You...may have guessed it was a mustache. Good job. Now give yourself a smile in the mirror, laugh at yourself and become a student in desperate need for attention. Great. Maybe I'll post a pic later. Maybe I won't...then what are you going to do, huh? I've got to say that by now, the stache is coming in not what I had pictured. Actually, it's literally more uglier then anything I'd ever imagine. If you've seen me with a mustache, then you know what I mean, but for others, you're just going to have to wait until you come up to me and ask me to grow it, in which I will reply a simple, "no," and you guys won't get to see it. Period. Is. The. Name. Of. This. Game.
It's raining here and it can be a bit depressing at time. I try and avoid days like these by staying indoors. But I'm bored, and when the office downstairs is closed on weekends, there's nothing for anyone to do. So, I sit back, pull out my Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, read a few chapters and then say, I need to do something with my life. But it's strange because I don't even make coffee anymore and I got like a whole container of it in the cupboard. Plus there's not really a good reason why I'm up this early. This Coffee Crisp from Halloween is staring at me. I went as myself to a party. Batman walks up to me and asks, "what are you supposed to be?" "A student. But I'm not just any student, I'm a studious student who studies stupid stunts like jumping over tables and whatnot. Where's Cat Woman?" He points. "Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!"
I remember the time I used to be into Nostalgia. It was short-lived.
I am now going to share with you a little piece of information I would like to call the Boyfriend Bomb, or BFB, so if you're not into ladies, caution because this may be a bit harmful to your eyes. The BFB goes like this. It's not literally a bomb, but it's a moment in the time you have with a girl where she drops it, and there's very little time for you to react. It's the single time of moment when a girl uses it where a guy's jaw drops. And afterward you feel every little bit as awkward as when you first started talking to her. So lets say you start talking to this girl at a party. As soon as you get her alone from her friends, now is your moment; take it and own it. You're kicking it off with her and you're both having a good time. You know, maybe you get so caught up in the conversation that you lose track of time and stay a bit longer than you're supposed to. That's alright because maybe you get to walk her home. You take it outside now, into the hallway and now you start talking to her about you're background; how you became this guy who is now talking to this gorgeous looking girl. You grow to like her and you start picturing what it would be like if you two were together. But then it gets tricky. Now you're train of thought stopped and froze. You're mind is blank, what the hell do I say? "Well, I grew up in Toronto, you see and..." "Oh, my boyfriend's going to school in Toronto." FUCK.
There really is no way to react positively towards that. It's crazy. But, however, if you are impulsive and a little too bit ego-centered to be shut down like that, then counter-react that response and bring up a "You're boyfriend's in Toronto!!?? No way!! That's awesome! Give me his number and we can hang out, you know, we can become the best of pals!!" It would blow her mind away.
But that ain't the most awkward way to get it out of her. No. There is also the general talk and she can just backfire out of nowhere. (And this is probably the bitchiest move any girl can pull on you). For instance, you're hanging out with a group of people, you know, you're doing your own thing, when instantly, you see this girl from a mile away. You want to go up and meet her, but you don't want to do it casually, you may just want to ask her a simple question to get her attention. But also keep in mind that you have a lasting effect on that first impression. Even the simplest phrase would do it. So you got your question. You walk up to her and look her in the eye. "Hey, do you happen to have the time on you?" "No, but my boyfriend does." "Whatta bitch."
I got no solution for that one. If involved in that kind of one, turn around, walk away and stay a safe distance from her as possible.
Me: "Knock, knock."
Reader: "Who's there?"
Me: "To."
Reader: "To who?"
Me: "To whom...gosh. Lazy people with their English today."
I don't know if you heard, but we had a small fire here on Rez a couple of weeks go. It wasn't a biggie, but we had to get the fire department to come in and tell us that the fire was already put out. The worst part about this was that we had to evacuate the building at 3 in the morning on a rainy, bitterly cold night. I was still sleeping at the time, but the staff members, or the people who were on duty, knocked on my door first and asked if I had a phone that worked. I said, 'yeah,' and they quickly handed me the phone. They were screaming, "there is a fire on the first floor! Tell the fire dept. that they need to come here fast!" I said, "alright, I think I got this." She left to go ring the alarm. The fire chief answered. I remember I sounded as frantic as I could possibly be. "We have a fire in this apartment, you got to come quickly!" He said to me, "calm down, how do we get to your house?" I replied, "don't you have those big red trucks still?" 'No," he said. "Which apartment are you in?" "The one that's on fire! Hurry!"
That was my November. See you in December.
-Drew
A poet named Shi lived in a stone house and liked to eat lion flesh, and he vowed to eat ten of them. He used to go to the market in search of lions, and one day at ten o'clock, he chanced to see ten of them there. Shi killed the lions with arrows and picked up their bodies, carrying them back to his stone house. His house was dripping with water, so he requested that his servants proceed to dry it. Then he began to try to eat the bodies of the ten lions. It was only then he realized that these were in fact ten lions made of stone.
This may become a surprising story for some. Each syllable in that previous passage is pronounced 'shi' in Chinese. Look it up.
(Time for you to look up last passage)
Good, now onto my blogging.
Here <- (not directly here, but below) is my first personal story of this month.
Have you ever had that feeling where you see a girl you might know on the bus, but you don't particularly know whether or not it's her; but she keeps looking back at you constantly as if she is trying to figure you out too? It's kind of like saying you met in a past life, or something. Maybe you haven't seen this person for who knows how long. and randomly, you finally meet eye to eye with each other, and now you both are wondering if this person staring back is someone you knew.
I had that moment. I felt that for some unknown reason I should remember this girl (funny, it happened on remembrance day: could've been an illusion...who knows?), but only Lord knows if we've ever met, though. I may remember who she is...but I'm only guessing. But she kept looking at me, or at least in my direction for periods of time, and I swear at one point, we were locked in eye contact and she was just about to utter something. But then she covered her mouth, turned away and put her earphone back into her ear. Was it me or the sunset behind me? Am I delusional or was she a girl from the past? I may have been sitting next to my ex-cousin who MAY still live here in North Bay. By what I saw, she did look familiar, as if I knew her from a while back...but because nothing was said, I guess we'll never know.
Yesterday, my friend came up to me and told me about a dream he had the night before. He asked me what I thought it meant and I told him "it means you were sleeping."
So, guess what's up? (by up I mean above my upper lip) You...may have guessed it was a mustache. Good job. Now give yourself a smile in the mirror, laugh at yourself and become a student in desperate need for attention. Great. Maybe I'll post a pic later. Maybe I won't...then what are you going to do, huh? I've got to say that by now, the stache is coming in not what I had pictured. Actually, it's literally more uglier then anything I'd ever imagine. If you've seen me with a mustache, then you know what I mean, but for others, you're just going to have to wait until you come up to me and ask me to grow it, in which I will reply a simple, "no," and you guys won't get to see it. Period. Is. The. Name. Of. This. Game.
It's raining here and it can be a bit depressing at time. I try and avoid days like these by staying indoors. But I'm bored, and when the office downstairs is closed on weekends, there's nothing for anyone to do. So, I sit back, pull out my Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, read a few chapters and then say, I need to do something with my life. But it's strange because I don't even make coffee anymore and I got like a whole container of it in the cupboard. Plus there's not really a good reason why I'm up this early. This Coffee Crisp from Halloween is staring at me. I went as myself to a party. Batman walks up to me and asks, "what are you supposed to be?" "A student. But I'm not just any student, I'm a studious student who studies stupid stunts like jumping over tables and whatnot. Where's Cat Woman?" He points. "Na na na na na na na na BATMAN!"
I remember the time I used to be into Nostalgia. It was short-lived.
I am now going to share with you a little piece of information I would like to call the Boyfriend Bomb, or BFB, so if you're not into ladies, caution because this may be a bit harmful to your eyes. The BFB goes like this. It's not literally a bomb, but it's a moment in the time you have with a girl where she drops it, and there's very little time for you to react. It's the single time of moment when a girl uses it where a guy's jaw drops. And afterward you feel every little bit as awkward as when you first started talking to her. So lets say you start talking to this girl at a party. As soon as you get her alone from her friends, now is your moment; take it and own it. You're kicking it off with her and you're both having a good time. You know, maybe you get so caught up in the conversation that you lose track of time and stay a bit longer than you're supposed to. That's alright because maybe you get to walk her home. You take it outside now, into the hallway and now you start talking to her about you're background; how you became this guy who is now talking to this gorgeous looking girl. You grow to like her and you start picturing what it would be like if you two were together. But then it gets tricky. Now you're train of thought stopped and froze. You're mind is blank, what the hell do I say? "Well, I grew up in Toronto, you see and..." "Oh, my boyfriend's going to school in Toronto." FUCK.
There really is no way to react positively towards that. It's crazy. But, however, if you are impulsive and a little too bit ego-centered to be shut down like that, then counter-react that response and bring up a "You're boyfriend's in Toronto!!?? No way!! That's awesome! Give me his number and we can hang out, you know, we can become the best of pals!!" It would blow her mind away.
But that ain't the most awkward way to get it out of her. No. There is also the general talk and she can just backfire out of nowhere. (And this is probably the bitchiest move any girl can pull on you). For instance, you're hanging out with a group of people, you know, you're doing your own thing, when instantly, you see this girl from a mile away. You want to go up and meet her, but you don't want to do it casually, you may just want to ask her a simple question to get her attention. But also keep in mind that you have a lasting effect on that first impression. Even the simplest phrase would do it. So you got your question. You walk up to her and look her in the eye. "Hey, do you happen to have the time on you?" "No, but my boyfriend does." "Whatta bitch."
I got no solution for that one. If involved in that kind of one, turn around, walk away and stay a safe distance from her as possible.
Me: "Knock, knock."
Reader: "Who's there?"
Me: "To."
Reader: "To who?"
Me: "To whom...gosh. Lazy people with their English today."
I don't know if you heard, but we had a small fire here on Rez a couple of weeks go. It wasn't a biggie, but we had to get the fire department to come in and tell us that the fire was already put out. The worst part about this was that we had to evacuate the building at 3 in the morning on a rainy, bitterly cold night. I was still sleeping at the time, but the staff members, or the people who were on duty, knocked on my door first and asked if I had a phone that worked. I said, 'yeah,' and they quickly handed me the phone. They were screaming, "there is a fire on the first floor! Tell the fire dept. that they need to come here fast!" I said, "alright, I think I got this." She left to go ring the alarm. The fire chief answered. I remember I sounded as frantic as I could possibly be. "We have a fire in this apartment, you got to come quickly!" He said to me, "calm down, how do we get to your house?" I replied, "don't you have those big red trucks still?" 'No," he said. "Which apartment are you in?" "The one that's on fire! Hurry!"
That was my November. See you in December.
-Drew
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