2020: The Year of Isolation

I started the year by asking myself if the year 2020 is the start of a new decade or the end of the last one. It was all the rage on Twitter in January. Everyone was all like, “I have 20-20 vision that 2020 will be MY year.” And I couldn’t wonder why there would be any significance in discussing the importance of this year. Did I want a new beginning or did I want a final farewell to probably my favourite decade of my life?

And then March came. Words spread that a pandemic was unraveling and a new virus was spreading. Everything went into lockdown. I remember it because I was in the ER the night the NBA season got suspended. The doctors were all talking about this new virus. Every one of them wearing masks. Saying that flights from here to New York were cancelled due to a person falling ill to the virus. I took a taxi home that night, back to my aunt’s apartment because of cat sitting, and probably got the best sleep I ever had this year.

But before I get too detailed, I myself became sick from a mysterious illness sometime in February and all I can remember was that “it was like a cold, but 10 times worse.” I didn’t get sleep for a week. Doctors chalked it up as a buildup of mucus and phlegm. I hardly believed them. With this new virus going around, I couldn’t help but consider that I, too, had gotten infected. I wrote a whole other blog post about it by the way, for further reading, but till this day, that sickness is still a mystery.

So, not only was I dealing with an unknown sickness, I became depressed with anxiety, I became a person I never knew I could become before. Part of it was due to the ongoing pandemic and not being able to interact with friends, but the other part of it was that my dad was dying. When you first hear the news that your father has cancer and that there’s no way for it to be treated, your life just comes crashing down. It’s like a freight train coming to an unexpected halt. It’s the most unbearable pain a son or daughter can go through.

My dad meant the world to me. I wouldn’t be who I am without him. He got me into music. He got me to listen to the Beatles. His words were so encouraging. And I’ll never forget everything he taught me. My dad will always be a part of me. As we get older and inherit the earth, our parents live through us. They are never truly gone.

After bouncing back from depression and being home a lot, this was supposed to be the year of activities for me, finally visiting concerts and parties, festivals and travelling. 2020 said "nope". As someone who has never been particularly social, it’s really surprised me how much I have missed simple social interactions. I have found it difficult to find the balance of life, the things I did to de-stress have been taken away while the things that bring me down have remained.

As in every year we mark the passing of notable people like Kobe Bryant, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Eddie Van Halen, Regis Philbin and Alex Trebek to name a few. But this was also the year that the Black Panther AND James Bond died.

This year it was all COVID-19 all the time. Nobody is forgetting that.

And that US election.

In addition to that, there were a lot of other things that just piled on to making 2020 the year everyone said “Enough already”:

Australia was on fire, as was much of the west coast;
There were widespread protests about racial injustice following the seemingly never-ending deaths of unarmed black people;
A global recession tanked economies;
And something called murder hornets showed up.

It’s given me a profound realization I’ve still got a lot to do to be the person I want to be. Basically I am a lot more fragile mentally than I realized before any of this happened. That has scared me in terms of how I am going to handle big life changing events in the future.

I’ve experienced the highs and lows of life and relationships this year but ultimately I still have some shit I want to work on to make these moments stick and be consistent. It’s definitely happened for the better but it’s a shame it took me so long to realize emotions aren’t a weakness but more a strength when recognized and accepted.

It's legitimately healthy to disconnect from news and media. We are not wired to feel horrible all the time, even when bad things are happening we don't have to constantly feel angry or sad about it. It's more humane to find moments of peace and good things worth striving for than to exist in an unending paralysis of sympathy and guilt.

The year 2020 is that eye lash that goes in your eyes but does not come out. 2020 is also known as Spain but the letter S is silent. 2020 is the person who won’t stop talking to me even after I put my on my headphones. If 2020 was a person, that person should be quarantined. 2020 was like opening the fridge every five minutes to see if anything new was in there except there was always something new and it was bad. We should have muted it in March.

2020 has taught me that life is so fragile, yet so strong. It can crumble completely and then be rebuilt from ruins within a matter of months. It's funny how you stay inside so long that once you go shopping you realize you haven't seen the end of your street for two weeks.

2020 goes out to all the health care workers, doctors and emergency supporters for all their extended work this year. What a fucking year it has been.

In conclusion, maybe every single one of us deserve a new beginning. 2021 will be the year to start fresh. Let’s leave the highs and lows, but mainly the lows of 2020 in the past and drive on. From here, who knows where we go. But if there’s one thing I take from this year, is that the whole world became that much closer to one another. Even in isolation, we still found a way to be united more than ever. And I hope there’s a lot of positive productivity going forward.

With that being said, here is once again my best of list. It’s a list I generate at the end of every year that welcomes you into my world. Each song is hand selected to my personal favourites that stood out amongst many, many songs I listened to this past year. You may find your new favourite band, or your new favourite song. And if you trust my judgement, you will find treasure. Enjoy.

Favourite Music 2020

93. Cub Sport🇦🇺 - Confessions
92. Tourist🇬🇧 – Last (feat. The Range)
91. Pure Violet🇺🇸 - Nostalgia

90. Middle Part🇺🇸 – Heartbeat
89. Bleachers🇺🇸 – chinatown (feat. Bruce Springsteen)
88. Porches🇺🇸 – I Miss That
87. Clock Opera🇬🇧 – I Surrender
86. Fruit Bats🇺🇸 - Hummer
85. Future Islands🇺🇸 - Thrill
84. Avec Sans🇬🇧 - Altitude
83. Swim Deep🇬🇧 – Happy As Larrie
82. Pottery🇨🇦 – Hot Like Jungle
81. Get Well Soon🇩🇪 – Funny Treats

80. Nation Of Language🇺🇸 - Tournament
79. Low Island🇬🇧 – Don’t Let The Light In
78. Joey Pecoraro🇺🇸 – Hello Sun
77. Phantom Planet🇺🇸 – Time Moves On
76. Hundredth🇺🇸 – Bottle It Up
75. Boston Marriage🇺🇸 - Idols
74. Charles Fauna🇺🇸 - Church
73. Other Lives🇺🇸 – Hey Hey I
72. dad sports🇨🇦 – name & place
71. HUDSUN🇬🇧 - Run

70. mmmonika🇺🇸 - kerosene
69. AJIMAL🇬🇧 - How Could You Disappear?
68. The Chain Gang Of 1974🇺🇸 – Such A Shame
67. Prison Escapee🇺🇸 – Beware Of Dog
66. Tom Sawyr🇺🇸 - Change
65. The 1975🇬🇧 – What Should I Say
64. Caroline Polachek🇺🇸 – Ocean Of Tears
63. I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME🇺🇸 - Leave Me Alone
62. Noble Oak🇨🇦 - Morning
61. Nada Surf 🇺🇸– Looking For You

60. ††† (Crosses)🇺🇸 – The Beginning Of The End
59. Westerman🇬🇧 – Blue Comanche
58. Small Black🇺🇸 - Tampa
57. Mouth Breather🇨🇦 – Turn Me Over (feat. Selené)
56. Doves🇬🇧 - Prisoners
55. Ball Park Music🇦🇺 – Day & Age
54. Other Lives🇺🇸 – Nites Out
53. Glasvegas🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 – My Body Is A Glasshouse (A Thousand Stones Ago)
52. The Mowgli’s🇺🇸 – Wasting Time
51. Tiz McNamara🇮🇪 – Miami Night Sky

50. Washed Out🇺🇸 – Time To Walk Away
49. Donovan Woods🇨🇦 - We Used To
48. Q🇺🇸 - Take Me Where Your Heart Is
47. Almighty Mighty🇧🇪 – Slow Burner
46. LARRY THE PINK HUMAN🇬🇧 – MIGHT DELETE LATER
45. DMA’s🇦🇺 – Life Is A Game Of Changing
44. Perfume Genius🇺🇸 – Your Body Changes Everything
43. First The Winter🇺🇸 – Same Old Story
42. Sea Girls🇬🇧 – Ready For More
41. Graveyard Club🇺🇸 - Valens

40. Matthew Good🇨🇦 – Thorn Bird
39. Plastic Picnic🇺🇸 - Awake
38. Gliss🇺🇸 – September Girl
37. Two Feet🇺🇸 - Maria
36. Vacations🇦🇺 - Avalanche
35. The Strokes🇺🇸 – Bad Decisions
34. Circa Waves🇬🇧 – Love You More
33. Chain Gang Of 1974🇺🇸 - 4AM, Still Lonely
32. Day Wave🇺🇸 – Potions
31. Moaning🇺🇸 - Ego

30. Carrousel🇫🇷 – Psychobabble Drama
29. The Millennials🇩🇰 – I Remember
28. Mansions🇺🇸 – Black And White
27. Everything Everything🇬🇧 – Violent Sun
26. Doves🇬🇧 – Ship Of Fools
25. Soccer Mommy🇺🇸 – circle the drain
24. Husbands🇺🇸 - Garth
23. sad alex🇺🇸 – stockholm’s a ghost town
22. Bombay Bicycle Club🇬🇧 – Everything Else Has Gone Wrong
21. Aquilo🇬🇧 – Always Forever

20. Little Dume🇺🇸 – Waking Up
19. Vola Tila🇸🇪 – Forget That I Love You
18. Windser🇺🇸 - July
17. I Break Horses🇸🇪 – Death Engine
16. MorMor🇨🇦 – Don’t Cry
15. Say Hi🇺🇸– And Then Some Miniature Golfing
14. Steven Wilson🇬🇧 – KING GHOST
13. Chastity🇨🇦 – Drain The Bloodbath
12. Perfume Genius🇺🇸 – Nothing At All
11. Son Lux🇺🇸 – Plans We Made

10. Geographer🇺🇸 - The Other Side